I haven’t shared this with anyone before. I kept it to myself. Today I am going share it with you. I know that many of you may not understand this, or you may think I’m crazy. I just ask that you be respectful, as this is a pretty vulnerable post.
From the time I was 12 year old, every December 31st I would make a whole list of things that I would work on for the year. In my early 30’s I realized these resolutions never actually became fulfilled. I would start them, give it my best, but some where along the early part of the year I would just let them go and eventually just stopped making the list.
A few years ago, I decided rather than making a list of things I didn’t like about myself or felt should be changed; I would instead look inward at things I do like about myself and how I can improve them by adjusting other things within me. I was online searching Youtube for some uplifting, motivational videos. I came across this video called “I AM Meditation”. That’s it. It got my attention. I clicked on it and a man’s voice started to speak.
“Welcome to the ‘I Am Wishes Fullfilled’ meditation. My name is Dr. Wayne Dyer”. I decided to listen to this entire 3 hour video despite that I was a bit skeptical (the original video is only 40 mins along, but this one is on a loop)
I did everything he said to do. I got a piece of paper and wrote everything that I thought I am down. I practiced the breathing technique he described and paired them up with the things I wrote down. Then, I closed my eyes and began to listen to the beautiful sounds that were being played and really tried to focus on my breathing and the list I created.
I am that, I am strong
I am that, I am intelligent
I am that, I am loved
I am that, I am grateful
I am that, I am compassionate
I am …
The list continued, and my mantra flowed like water. I felt excited to hear about all the things that I am.
After 33 years of being conditioned to be a person that I couldn’t identify with, being told who I was supposed to be, and living a life that I thought I was supposed to…I could finally feel from the inside out who I actually am. It felt amazing. Tears streamed from my face in abundance as I released my authentic self into this world, and it. felt. good. With every breath I took in, I drew deeper and longer and I sat taller. With every long, slow exhale, and I felt lighter. This was in just one sitting.
Dr. Wayne Dyer was right. After the very first time he had experienced this meditation he was hooked, and so was I. It was something I couldn’t wait to do. I woke up every morning an hour and half before my daughters, I sat down and I did my meditation. Once the girls were in bed, I sat down and did my meditation. I felt calmer, stronger and this purity of self love washed over me.
It might seem silly to some, but a simple change of looking at the positives within myself rather than the dislikes outside myself had a huge affect on my ability to actually bring change in my life.
I would encourage anyone willing to try something outside their space of comfort to give it a try. It was great starting place for me; but there are many other similar meditations and approaches out there.
Here are a couple of other links I enjoyed:
Dr. Wayne Dyer was an influential spokesperson for self-help, positive thinking and as successful motivational speaker. May he rest in peace.
Sumbul Zafar, R.H.N.